MARKETING FUNNELS
CHUCK IT IN AND SOMETHING WILL COME OUT.
Even poor old useful tools are now being dragged into the mix of fruitful marketing vocabulary. Today we will pick on the Marketing Funnel. Now these funnels are not exclusive to marketing, you can have a sales one or if you like a purchasing one too. The list goes on. In fact we think someone may be actually just sticking the word funnel in front of any old word.
THE TOP TO BOTTOM.
Get out what you put in.
Before we get knee deep into this subject matter we only think it just and honourable to state THE TRUTH here. It will save you the chore of reading all of this blog post. CRAP IN = CRAP OUT.
It really does not matter if you give it a fancy name, generate an informative infographic or slap all this rubbish into a powerpoint presentation. STUPID PARROTS cannot wait to fire up their devices and chirp on about this stuff and that stuff. They get really, really excited. More excited than a child hearing the ice cream van from 10 streets away.
So here is a SHOCKER of an explanation.
“The marketing funnel is a visualisation for understanding the process of turning leads into customers, as understood from a marketing (and sales) perspective”
REALLY!… NO, REALLY!
No wait, the marketing or sales funnel is now a cylinder.
They really need to pick a shape and stick with it. DO STUPID PARROTS actually believe that the shape of their imaginary tool makes a dot of difference? THINK ABOUT THIS. A funnel is a useful object. It helps us take a liquid from one container to another with little or no loss. Excluding some evapouration if the liquid is susceptible to that. The funnel may also include a filter to catch any nasties that may have got mixed in. SHAME THERE IS NOT FILTER FOR STUPID PARROTS!
Now looking closer into this marketing/sales/purchasing/or whatever other word they want to strap to the funnel thing, here is a broadish selection of infographics. As we all know a picture paints a thousand words. They look pretty :).
TIP: Link to other website graphics. Do not just copy them from the source. You see there is this little thing called ©COPYRIGHT. Like you, we are not thieves.
Nonlinear funnels.
STUPID PARROTS have now decided that the traditional funnel shape is no longer worthy as the buying process is no longer linear. They have now phathomed that leads are coming into the funnel at different stages. YEP, they worked that one out all by themselves. CLEVER STUPID PARROTS.
Why does this happen? Well by all accounts this may happen because the consumer may already know what they want. It may also happen where the consumer has self educated (their words, not ours) and sees greater value in one single offering.
There you have it. We are all better informed on the funnel thing. By all accounts this is old now and there is some new fangled thing called THE FLYWHEEL. Oh please just SHUT UP!
STUPID PARROTS love a good system. It makes their lives easy. They follow the same steps for each and every client. Repurpose that insightful report. Crack open Powerpoint and paste your logo into that master document. Align the content to your business. Their expertise is phenomenal. Their knowledge unquestionable. The result? CRAP IN = CRAP OUT.
For almost everything marketing take a look at our blog. That is if you have a spare few days. Go on take a look.
PLEASE IGNORE THE FUNNEL. It has been left here for search engines as they like at least one picture to be on a page. Go figure!