We all want to be top of the list, up there, uno numero, the big dog, rank number 1. This immediately begs the question, “how can everyone be number 1?” OK then maybe we would settle to be on the first results page. If that is not totally realistic then how about ranking first under some obscure search term. Oh lordy this is getting very confusing.


Rank higher for ranks sake.

The website content has been optimised to an inch of its existence. Words carefully researched, chosen, placed and linked. Images reduced, cropped, tagged and strategically positioned for the search engines. All sounds pretty standard SEO (that’s search engine optimisation if you didn’t know) stuff. This stuff is technical and to be truthful utterly and brain numbingly boring. The STUPID PARROTS love this stuff. It gives them something to exist for. It makes them experts. Why?… because it confuses people so much that it is easy for them to be experts.

The number 1 way to rank number 1

Look at it this way. SEO is a practice of increasing the quantity and quality of traffic to a website. This is romantically termed “organic search engine results.” There are many tools to call upon. Some are OK, some pants and the others, well the STUPID PARROTS use those. They love it, producing in-depth reports splattered with a fair smothering of really cool looking infographics. It must be right. The analytics said it was. Now that is how you WOW a client!

THE CHALLENGE is great. The solution simple. We do not apologise to all SEO Experts for letting this out of the bag. YOU PAY FOR ONLINE ADVERTISING! That’s the basic fact. Yes you can pay s STUPID PARROT to lead you down the yellow brick road on a monthly retainer. Alternatively you could invest that princely sum in paying to get to number 1. Either option will see you parting with some cold cash. 


The goal is domination. It has to be. That number 1 spot can only achieved if you have enough money. Actually anything can be achieved if you have enough money. How much though? Well this all depends on what the STUPID PARROTS consider to be a fair market value based on their expertise.

Back in the good old days there used to be a thing. The thing was called a marketing budget. A rare beasty now. They were beautiful. They were specifically born to allow a business to market with defined goals. According to the interweb (we did some research), the actual figures are dependent on each business. In the early days expect to allocate anywhere from 12% to 25% of gross revenue. Alternatively an established company may spend anything from 1% to 10% of their budget. The average useg to be 6% back in the day. According to Gartner it is 11% – who really knows? See we have given you some helpful stuff here.

RIGHT time to sign off with the obligatory outbound links. We know this is getting a bit repetitive now but that is what the BIG BOYS want us to do. So always willing to please here are a couple of prime examples.–marketing-budgets-have-fallen-to-th

Once again and nearly like everyone else, we have a blog. Our blog is good for almost everything marketing. If you have a spare few days take a look.

Rank SEO

PLEASE IGNORE THE MOUSE. It has been left here for search engines as they like at least one picture to be on a page. Go figure!