BUDGET TO MARKET STUPID.
THE BAD TASTE OF THE MARKETING BUDGET.
That was a complete waste of time and money. IT DID NOT WORK! These are the words we hear time and time again. Like a teenagers favourite chart hit being played over and over from the confines of their pit, once know as a bedroom. It becomes a tad annoying. Actually we hear it from everyone. On considering the reason for this (it took us a nanosecond) we have concluded that STUPID PARROTS have been at work, busily and confidently knocking ten bells out of these now poorer business’s marketing budgets.
A 100% INCREASE IN PROFIT. BUT IT IS NOT YOURS STUPID!
The most efficient use of a marketing budget.
DO NOT SPEND A PENNY ON THIS MARKETING MALARKEY. There you have it, we have just saved you a fortune. That may seem a stupid thing to say.” Let us clarify. A STUPID PARROT wants to spend your marketing budget. They want to take it, carve it up into bite sized portions and then devour it across their offered areas of expertise. By doing this they are able to return an amazing return on investment (AROI). Sorry the benefit is to their business. Nada, nothing of any value, zilch, SWF to the benefit of the company whose money it is. Why does this happen? It happens because the STUPID PARROTS do not actually understand what this marketing budget is supposed to be doing.
You need a new website. Your logo is outdated. An online shop will increase your sales. SEO will get you more exposure. New packaging will position your products in the next bracket. Email marketing will add confidence to your customer base and allows an opportunity to further increase sales. WHAT A COMPLETE LOAD OF TOSH! All of these statements are craftily used by STUPID PARROTS to conceal their ineptitude.
3 ways to increase marketing spend return.
1. YEP you guessed it. STOP USING STUPID PARROTS.
2. Do not tell a marketing supplier what to do. Listen to them.
3. Enjoy the experience of great marketing.
We have cleared that up then. Now armed with a little more excellent advice (we are bias with that statement) there is no reason to not merely skip off into the marketing jungle. You are now prepared and forewarned but please REMEMBER TO AVOID THE STUPID PARROTS THOUGH!
A HOLIDAY OF A LIFETIME.
A good indicator of a bad marketing expert is that they are off on their HOLS a lot. It is frustratingly hard to get hold of them. We all see these online videos of people living amazing lifestyles because they did one thing. Apologies for this but, WHAT A LOAD OF bollocks. What would we all do if we found that? We would sell it and retire. EXCEPTION HERE to all thoses megalomaniacs out there.
Here we are again. THE END of another thought evoking blog post. That or you have already or are just about to hit the drift off into the interweb button to find a more compliant company to work with. Right it is time for some outbound links. YES we know what you are thinking… NOT AGAIN! Do not blame us it is out of our control.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Budget
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/marketing
IF YOU WERE NOT BORED ENOUGH. Here on our insightful blog you will find more questionable but highly relevant stuff. That is if you have a spare few days take a look.
PLEASE IGNORE THE DONKEY. It has been left here for search engines as they like at least one picture to be on a page. Go figure!